Friend: I think I'm gonna head home see ya later
Me: thank god

My dad is the biggest fucking drunk asshole ever. Im so glad he finally got a fucking job because my life is so much better now that hes not home.

hey don’t do cool things with my boyfriend without me

silenthill:

i hate porn. “ohh fuck my ass!!!” you fuck your own damn ass

confirmance:

do you ever like randomly wake up in the middle of the night check your social networks then go back to sleep 

(Source: confirmance)

gufiaoo:

When my mom throws a family party

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cookienun:

assuming someone’s sexuality because of how they dress

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assuming someone’s sexuality because of how they talk

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assuming someone’s sexuality because of their haircut

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assuming someone’s sexuality

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pizza

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slimydad:

i hate old crusty ass adults who are like “how can you love someone youve never met or touched” shut up you dont know how to open new tabs in your internet browser