mikeyfriskeyhands: Honestly if I had the body I wanted I’d probably dress like a slut Im just saying
yo what the hell is this, how come i don’t get paid $21 an hour
mrcraabs: i’m terribly sorry sir, but for the last time, no, you can not pay us in stickers. i don’t care how many stickers you have. this is a high end restaurant. holy shit that is a lot of stickers. okay just give me those and you are free to go don’t tell anyone about this
understandablydumb: the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
sapwhoretaa: someone out there took gabe saporta’s virginity think about that
glamour-parade: How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you
connuh: dootzy: this video will make your day better Oh my god
Okay Fightstar. The jokes over, come back now.
startuptheclocks: Miss you guys.
If I like you and I’m comfortable around you, I’m going to get weird.
sassbenderr: trendy-blog: the best feeling in the world is when you finish your homework early and you take a shower and you get to crawl into bed and surround yourself in blankets and pillows at 9:30 and go on your laptop and listen to music and take acid tabs until you begin hallucinating that satan is with you and allow him to guide you into killing your friends and family and eating their...
thats-slightly-raven: thats-slightly-raven: I sneezed really hard and accidently punched myself in the nose and now I’m bleeding, I’m not really feeling today tbh. I love when my followers send me words of encouragement.
letsbeholmies: lol-drugged: pityreblogs: so my brother put up this barbed wire about a year ago and my dad sent him a text that said “the barbed wire you put up at bennett still looks good it’s even a weave catcher” and we were like what the hell does that mean he’s lost his mind… then he sent this apparently some girl tried to jump the fence and her weave got stuck in the barbed wire ...
galifianafuck: “hey whats your zodiac sign”
pimpeta-slap: internetexplorers: internetexplorers: are you my big toe? because i’m gonna bang you on every piece of furniture in my house OH MY FUCKING GOD
homootp: please send help immediately
alexbluewald: idk shane morris has a grill and a chessboard shaved into his head and pete wentz has a number one album so
timecannotberewritten: dovahqueene: iwishlilbwasmygrandpa: There are thousands of half-babies in my ballsack and that’s terrifying at least you don’t bleed them out every month you make a compelling argument
Anonymous asked: You are so beautiful, I would take you to prom if you actually wanted to go, but me being in australia prevents that :(
dragonholiday: *has one minute to live* *checks tumblr*